What really is unconditional love?
We use that term quite a bit, and I wonder how much we have truly lived it or experienced it from another.
It’s on my mind and heart lately, and I wanted to say a few words about it. Food for thought.
I’m currently in a space with another that is providing opportunity for me to choose how I will love. Well…now that I say that…aren’t we always in opportunities with choices regarding love?
When we are in relationships where there is mutual giving and receiving, I think it’s easy to assume we are loving unconditionally because much is going out and much is coming back, and the “sharing” experience is present.
So what about in those situations where that sharing aspect seems missing or is less than we prefer?
It’s a grand opportunity for us to notice if we are really loving without attachment.
I could write all day about all the choices we have with others. We can choose to stay engaged or we can move on. No problem. We can choose to stay minimally engaged. We can leave the relationship all together. All choices we have, all valid.
And no matter what we choose, we can still act from a place of love. And love might not always feel like love to the other. Ever experienced that?
Is all love unconditional? Or is there just “love” love?
Can you tell I’m going to ask more questions today than give answers? 🙂
So, back to the situation I am referring to in my life.
There is this person I deeply love. In my current experience they aren’t responding mutually, and sometimes don’t respond at all.
I’m deciding how I want to be, how much I want to participate. Do I want to talk with them about it, do I not? What is in my highest good? (I think that when we have our highest good in mind it’s also for the highest good of the other.)
I don’t have answers yet to all these questions, and I might not need them, but what I do know is that I am definitely up for unconditional love. And this love must be taking place first for myself. Actually this is where I’m focusing. On me. Am I looking to this person to give me something I can give myself?
Is there an experience I want with them that I am not fully giving myself? Appreciation? Acknowledgment? Friendship? Fun? Care? Kindness?
No one can give me anything that I cannot give myself.
And I am so grateful for this. I don’t want to find my self outside of myself. So I am glad that this is the way it is. It keeps me in check. Keeps me focused on what is most important.
Unconditional love for myself first. I think it’s really only in this place that we can then love another with no attachments. No expectations. Without conditions.
I’m pretty sure when I love another with conditions, even if they are oh so subtle, that person feels the vibration, even if they aren’t aware of it. And I don’t know about you, but I want health, vibrancy and thriving in my relating with others.
I don’t want to settle for even a smidgeon of attachment, unhealthy neediness, or dependency. When I love myself and others unconditionally, then my closest relationships will presence deep trust, exhilaration, profound intimacy, and light heartedness.
I won’t want or need to depend on them for any amount of my happiness or well-being, because I will be so connected to the Divine within myself already. I won’t rise and fall based upon their actions.
I won’t want to attach to them because I will be so secure in self-love. And I will be able to love them freely and in freedom. We can love whole-heartedly and still maintain space. No attachment does not mean a shallow love.
I’m so thrilled, because the person I love that isn’t responding like I would prefer them to is unknowingly a catalyst of refinement in my heart. My desire going unmet is the perfect answer to my prayer for a pure heart. I am grateful for this person…they are loving me without even knowing it. It’s my opportunity to look within and go again in loving myself even more ecstatically. Booyah!
All is well.
I hope this has served you in some way today. Remember that in this evolution process, we are being given opportunity after opportunity to let go, to let things fall away, and to remember the things that really matter. The Divine is with us always, nudging us to unconditionally love self first. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Til next week…grateful for you!