Today’s newsletter is a follow-up to my last one, so if you have a minute go back and read that one so you’ll have sufficient context for today’s theme. Basically we are talking about how we assign meaning to everything in our lives, and how there is no inherent meaning to anything. For some of you I imagine this concept is rather paradigm-shaking. It was for me when I was introduced to it. And now it’s become one of the most freeing aspects to my life!
Let’s say you are at work and someone gives you a glance across the table in a meeting. You might assign any of these meanings/interpretations:
They are being rude to me just like last week.
I am being treated unfairly by them, what did I do?
What is wrong with my project? I worked so hard on this. (followed by self pity, victim mindset, anger).
Gosh, I can’t stand him, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.
All that from one glance.
What will any of these interpretations produce? Because you choose to give meaning to the glance you now have set in motion any number of responses, assumptions, and judgements, and we all know that these can produce discord, tension, decreased motivation, gossip, weariness, etc.
Things that will not support you or the relationship at hand.
What else could you do? Well, for starters, you could assign no meaning and check in with the person after the meeting to see what if anything was going on. Perhaps that glance had nothing at all to do with you!
And let’s just say it did. Let’s just say they did think your project was awful and they were judging you. So what? So really, so what? You still get to decide how you want to be and what you want to have. And what it means to you.
You hold all the power!!
And perhaps the glance was because they felt insecure for comparing themselves to you, and you have an opportunity to extend love, acceptance, kindness.
There are endless possibilities that show up when we are willing to suspend meaning and just be present, open, allowing.
This week, give yourself to neutrality. Give yourself to the moment and be willing to suspend what can feel like “the need” to assign meaning. Explore the joy that comes from this process and from the opportunities to BE grace and kindness, both to others and to yourself.
To abundant learning,