I’m really excited this week to share with you with my first guest blogger (woots!) and the perfect “Part 2” to last week’s message on Relating and Love. Lynnivere is an incredible woman who writes with profound insight and fills every post with wisdom, integrity and authenticity. Today’s message speaks deeply to me and teaches me anew how to inquire into the purpose and value of the relationships in my life. I’m so grateful for Lynnivere’s heart and talent. You will be blessed–she’s the real deal!
Mirrors Ala the Ancient Essenes
The ancient Essenes wrote a great deal about inter-personal relationships and what I call “Mirrors of Relationship” as seen in ourselves and others. 7 different mirrors were described that dealt with everything from longing to addictions.
Seeing ourselves clearly is an excellent way to find balance in our lives. How we choose to respond, react and interact with others can be very enlightening. We can learn a great deal about ourselves and solve many of our own internal struggles by understanding our relationship to others. It’s fascinating how those around us mirror who we really are. The insight of what we observe through others can make us realize (real eyes) the truest nature of ourselves.
Peer and see if you can recognize how your life is affected by the 3 most common mirrors.
MIRROR OF SELF
The mirror that is seen most often is called the “Mirror of Self”. Most of us are completely unaware that we are looking at things in our lives as though they are outside of our self. In fact, we often dream in the “Mirror of Self”, as each character in a dream may represent an aspect of our psyche playing out different roles to suss out our subconscious issues.
The “Mirror of Self” occurs when we keep seeing something again and again that we need to address, alter or otherwise desire to change about ourselves. When we see someone do something that drives us absolutely crazy, it’s usually because it’s something we dislike about yourself & want to change. This poor unsuspecting person you are secretly criticizing is really just an object of your own manifestation, magnetically pulled to you, so as to remind you that “this” is what you need to work on and change. It’s all about personal responsibility.
When you find that you keep attracting the same kind of person, the same reasons for getting pulled over by the police, the same uncomfortable job dynamics, the exact same injury and re-injury, the same miscalculation in your accounting time and again, you can thank yourself. You are merely pointing out to yourself what you specifically need to work on and heal in your life. Of course, it could be a good pattern and you are showing yourself how wonderfully you have manifested what you want most.
Consider though, when we repress or deny what needs the most attention inside of us, we are likely to create dangerous and sometimes violent situations to force ourselves into action. Special caution especially for those who don’t take a hint. This is exactly how some folks end up in the hospital or in seemingly impossible confrontations. They’ve simply ignored all the mirrored suggestions to change behaviours before this critical moment.
The next time someone mirrors something you dislike, pay very close attention to how this applies to you and how you may be able to use that lesson to learn and grow.
Take the time to look deep into the “Mirror of Self”.
MIRROR OF JUDGMENT
You have looked at yourself in a clear mirror and you have examined whether the situation you keep seeing is about you or not. You have concluded that this mirror is not showing you a problem you have.
Example: Someone is lying to you. You have consciously built your life on truth and honesty, so the mirror is not showing you your own dishonesty. Instead, this mirror is showing you something you judge in others.
Yes, the “Mirror of Judgment” is not necessarily about your own inner self as much as it is an image of what you judge in the people around you. If you tell the truth and expect others to be equal in telling you the truth, then your judgment of them and their behaviour may be what keeps attracting this experience into your life.
The lesson here is to be careful not to judge others. It’s one thing to be aware of another’s choices and behaviours, to understand their character and human nature but by judging them, you may be actively keeping yourself stuck in an unhealthy loop with them or others who behave in similar patterns. When folks show you who they are, you can believe them. You can trust people to be who they truly are.
MIRROR OF LOSS
You know that experience of catching someones eye and being breath taken? That crystalline moment of falling in love, either erotically or familialy? I know it all too well. In an instant, I’ve fallen for people and wild dogs. If they look at me with clear wide eyes, no ego, I see God every time. *joyful laughs*
In this mirror we can be around someone for a short time and walk away missing them, at least ostensibly needing them. Hasn’t it happened where you just met and fireworks are going off in all directions. You can’t miss it!
In the “Mirror of Loss” we see many things in the other person that we have given up to survive in this life. In this beautiful person, we can see what we sold or lost along the way.
“She’s so trusting and vibrant.”
“He’s so self-assured and powerful.”
Some examples of natural wellness we may have bargained along the way are excitement, trust, integrity, honesty, belief in yourself, hope and clear communication.
What was the last thing you remember loving in someone you just met? It may be something you need to consider re-acquiring on your own. And no, simply having that person in your life will not fill in the blanks.
There are no shortcuts with the “Mirror of Loss”, you have to love yourself enough to go get what is yours.. inside. Of course, if this person you are enamoured with inspires you to reconnect with missing aspects of yourself, that’s wonderful. Maybe they are very good for you! Still, they cannot substitute or fill in the blanks for you.
The real trick is deciphering whether this person represents something you need to restore to yourself or if they are really someone you want to “relate” to on a regular basis.
What mirrors do you see most in your life?