Is Suffering Required?


not required


I read something the other day that put words to an inner conversation I’ve been engaging in….an inner inquiry I’ve been having for quite some time.


I love to study people.  To study myself, to study how we humans do things, how we go through life, what we choose and what we pretend we have no choice over. 


One of the things I’ve noticed, as I’m sure you have too, is how some people seem to suffer more than others, even more than others going through almost identical circumstances.  By suffering I mean mostly in an emotional way.  “Life is hard, relationships are hard, I am in distress, this is despairing, I don’t know what I will do, I have no choice in the matter, why is this happening to me?”


Do any of those conversations sound or feel familiar to you?  Either because you notice them in yourself or in those you are close to?


So this is what I read recently:


“Suffering is a belief system that you attach to pain…..pain is pain, suffering is optional….people suffer emotionally because it gives them what they need.  Suffering is a creation, and those who suffer are benefitting and gaining energy from what they are producing; otherwise it would not be so.  The belief that suffering is required actually holds the suffering in place, and the attachment to suffering, the attachment to living in the problem all the time, must be cleared as well.”


Reading this just produces a great big sigh within me……..ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Pain is pain, suffering is optional.


As with most things I write about, an intention embedded in this blog is to break straight through paradigms that no longer serve us, and to ask the question, “what if?”   What if we lived in the freedom of dispensing with suffering?  What if this is another matrix we’ve just been brought up into?  What if we could experience pain as pain without getting all hooked in with suffering?


I’ve heard before that all suffering has to do with resistance.  When we resist, we suffer.  I do believe that.  It took me awhile to get my head around this, and after thinking through all kinds of circumstances where I would say I’ve suffered, I realized that yes, all of the suffering was because I was resisting some reality.


I didn’t like an outcome or I didn’t accept it and I suffered.


I didn’t like the fact that someone made a choice that felt painful to me, and this resistance caused me suffering.  Sadness, grief, heartache, despair, longing…….


I tried to hold onto something or someone, and the grasping induced suffering.


I was afraid of what could happen or what I was making up about what was happening and this choice for fear brought suffering.  The fear itself was resistance.


I chose to define something that left my life or shifted greatly as loss, and holding it as loss was suffering to my soul.


In each of those circumstances, as I reflect on just allowing the pain to be pain, without identifying with the pain, the suffering releases.  As I allow myself to just be present, not fighting what is, not trying to escape, not making significance out of the circumstances, I find great freedom emotionally.


As I breathe, release the fears that come, and choose to stay present right now, I live in peace.


As I notice myself resisting and just let that go to the Light for healing, the weight rolls off my chest.


As I choose not to define what is occurring as bad, wrong, terrible, another’s fault, or out of control, I can more wholly be in the Presence of Divine Grace.


All Provision is there for us in pain.  All of these old patterns of suffering can be cleared that we might live in great peace.


Just knowing we have a choice, a new way open before us, provides the nutrition for our souls to create a new way of living.


If you would like to rise above the patterns of suffering, simply let God know.  Tell the Universe you are eager and willing for these things in you to be cleared and released.


One of the best things I’ve heard in the past few months is from Byron Katie.

“Everything happens for you, not to you.”


If you are one that tends towards suffering, then ask yourself, “What benefit do I get from this?”  The answer will reveal itself to you that you might surrender it to Benevolence for healing.


Choosing suffering isn’t wrong at all…..I just wonder if there isn’t a higher way.  If the benefit of it for you is attention from others, comfort, or the proof that “too good to be true” is right, then perhaps it’s worth re-examining.


Onward we all go, ever on the watch for what paradigms stand to be broken through that the clear Light of God can shine through.


Treat yourself gently.


With great love and affection,





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