As a mom of two teenage boys, I am involved with so many every day moments for life lessons. I teach my sons and they teach me. My philosophy of parenting embraces the idea that we all learn from one another all the time. There is no hierarchy of power and authority needed. We share life and we share wisdom.
A theme I notice that comes up often in our conversations, as we observe and participate in life in America/this world, is that of blame and accusation. If you were to focus on observing this theme for just one day, you’d be blown away by how much of it is present.
Present in TV shows. Present in this political race. Present in the news stories. Present on the roads. Present in your family. Present in your hearts.
Who did what to whom? Who messed up? Who is at fault? They should have known better. I can’t believe they did that to me. Did you see how that guy swerved into my lane? As if you own the lane.
I tell my boys that this attitude of blame and accusation is why we have war. It’s why people are in jail. Why people are sick and tired. Why hospitals are full. Why so many people are depressed.
Often I am aware of how silently this slips up on me. How easily this shows up in my thoughts.
Anything from blaming who didn’t clean up after themselves to blaming some stranger for leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store to blaming myself because I should have known better.
Now I’m not writing this to compound blame or to put a heavy on us. My purpose is to remind us that we are so much bigger than the blame game. The things we are most after summon love, courage, forgiveness, and compassion from us. The game of blame and accusation is such a small game. It’s such a sad game…and it awards us with constriction, anger, disease and separation.
The game I am up for playing, and the game I’m inviting my sons to play, is a big broad spacious delicious game….one that awards us with joy, peace, well-being and fun. It’s a game we are designed for. It’s the game we actually came to play. Not reserved for a few but open for all.
I’m learning to live my life focused on my own path. My heart. My attitude. My vision. And to stay out of opinions about other people’s paths. Meaning not to be concerned with how they are choosing. Now I might get involved in supporting them, coaching them, loving them, and yet my focus is not on judging how they are going about it or even giving energy to an assessment of it.
My vision supports and supplies Our world.
My attitude supports and supplies Our best.
My heart supports and supplies Our peace and well-being.
I will observe myself and shift where needed. I will observe my thoughts and shift off of blame and accusation. As far as others are concerned, I will stay away from the blame game and keep the game about love, seeing the innocence of the other, and deciding how I might best love them, no matter where they are at.
I can give honest feedback without blaming.
I can make requests without accusing.
I can be true to myself without drama.
You know, it’s so not worth it. For some momentary relief of my own guilt, I blame. Ummm……yea….I’m just so over it.
I’m running after colors, bliss, freedom, and rockin love!
Who’s got their game on?
See ya on the playing field of life,